Sunday, April 16, 2006
Haiz.. i still thinking about the thing in gv... Dun feel like talking.. But i also long time never update you le ba.. I wish to be feelingless.. I want to feel nothing.. Cause if i feel nothing i wouldn't have feelings.. Just like before the winnie birthday even i thought it was a peaceful days at first but when i reach there.. there was a mom hitting her child.. the beating was so bad.. When i thought about i felt so angry and sad.. Wishing to feel nothing is maybe the thing i want.. Cause i will not be sad nor happy, there is also not angry feelings or jealous or even hate.. So maybe thats the best way out for me.. Feelings hurt and feelings heal.. But there is no feelings i will not be hurt or heal.. There won't be any memories.. Just as i wanted.. No sad or happy memories to remember.. Some people said that time heals all things.. But i don't think so... Maybe the only thing in my life is basket ball.. Cause i can vent anger on it and it will not show feelings... All i need is to control the ball.. And it follows my will.. Cause the ball is not a living thing.. If the ball is a living thing.. It will not even let you bounce it.. Well the world is turning but my time is stopping... Maybe even now for me there is no time... Like last time i nearly broke the hard disk by seagate.. Felt so down like last time... Don't wish to do anything.. Feel like want to sleep there or stay motionless all day.. Even today i went to the family day, i was damn down.. Trying to keep myself happy but can't.. Sometime people like don't care about you.. Cause even if i am gone the world is still turning.. The time is still moving.. There is nothing going to change.. I felt my eisiztence was small.. Or maybe none,, My mom keep asking me.. Why i am looking so angry?? Maybe thats the way i was.. Maybe.. Maybe.. Everytime i look happy go lucky.. But inside sometimes i felt so lonely.. Lonely that i think there was no one around at all.. Sometimes i walk around the shopping mall.. There was alot of people.. But i felt i was the only person walking... Feeling nothing so i can fret nothing.. There is also nothing for me to worry at all.. Cause there is no feelings in me.. I sometimes wish that i don't want to care about other people.. I know i am selfish doing that.. But Sometimes i think have they thought about me?? Maybe they have.. Maybe they don't.. Have you hope that sometimes that the time will go back?? Well i have wish for that lots of time.. Lots of thing i have done wrong.. Lots of things i haven't done.. Lots of things i have failed.. Lots of things i have missed them... And lots of things i never cherished... Really lots of things... Well today i saw somethings.. She and bryan very close.. Well i think i don't wish to hold on any longer.. It was painful as i felt like last time before.. Maybe it was my foolishiess.. To get hurt.. Reminded by the past love.. That i never cherish.. As it slowly drift away... Maybe playing basket ball is the only thing i can put my feelings inside.. Everytime i was hoping that somethings will happen but the hope was fake.. Sometimes hope gives you more hope.. But when it vanish it pulls you down.. Same as me... Long that there is not hope and wishes.. But reality.. Sometimes i thought i found what i wanted.. But in the end it is not i want.. Long time i don't have that kind of feeling.. Long time~~.. When i like someone.. Is not a play play.. Its for real... Well i guess you will see until tired be.. i guess i will end here..
Thank you for being a listening ear.. Maybe there isn't a thank you next time...
Day after tomorrow by starry heavens..
| Romaji Lyrics | English Translation |
|---|
yozora wo kakeru nagareboshi wo ima
mitsukeraretara nani wo inoru darou
tabidatsu kimi to kawashita yakusoku
kokoro no naka ni itsumo aru | what will I wish for if I found
a shooting star that travels in the sky now?
that promise I made with the departing you
will always remain in my heart |
nemurenai yoru ni kikitai no wa kimi no koe
asahi ga kurumade katari akashita | what I want to hear on nights I can't sleep is your voice
we talked until sunrise came |
tonari de muchuu ni hanasu yokogao wa kagayaite ita yo ne | your face was shining when you were engrossed in talking next to me |
yume wo ou kimi to mimamoru boku ni
onaji hoshi no hikari ga furisosogu
furikaerazu ni aruite hoshii to
namida koraete miokutta | the same starlight falls upon
you, who chase after dreams, and me, who watches over
I want you to walk o without looking back
so I saw you off as I held back my tears |
yozora wo kakeru nagareboshi wo ima
mitsukeraretara nani wo inoru darou?
tabidatsu kimi to kawashita yakusoku
kokoro no naka ni itsumo aru | what will I wish for if I found
a shooting star that travels in the sky now?
that promise I made with the departing you
will always remain in my heart |
itsu demo tsutsundeagerareru boku de itai
tsunoru samishisa wa sotto kakushite | I want to be able to embrace you anytime
softly hiding the lonliness that increases |
are kara toki no nagare ga modokashiku kanjihajimeta kedo | although the flow of time seem to become confusing since then |
mabayui hoshi ni omoi kasanereba
tsuyoi ai e to kaete yukeru kara
kimi ga jibun de ayunda kiseki mo
tashika na mono ni kitto naru | if we overlap our feelings on that bright star
we'll be able to change it into strong love
even that miracle you made on your own
will turn into something complete |
yozora wo kakeru nagareboshi wo ima
mitsukeraretara nani wo inoru darou
doko ni itatte tsunagatte iru yo
kimi no kotoba ga yomigaeru | what will I wish for if I found
a shooting star that travels in the sky now?
we're connected no matter where we are
your words come to life |
yume wo ou kimi to mimamoru boku ni
onaji hoshi no hikari ga furisosogu
furikaerazu ni aruite hoshii to
namida koraete miokutta | the same starlight falls upon
you, who chase after dreams, and me, who watches over
I want you to walk o without looking back
so I saw you off as I held back my tears |
yozora wo kakeru nagareboshi wo ima
mitsukeraretara nani wo inoru darou
tabidatsu kimi to kawashita yakusoku
kokoro no naka ni itsumo aru | what will I wish for if I found
a shooting star that travels in the sky now?
that promise I made with the departing you
will always remain in my heart |
posted at Sunday, April 16, 2006
----------------
